I’m wearing a Greece-sky blue T-Shirt, a short skirt and flip-flops today. I am toting my stuff around in a Roxy Beach bag and my hair is combed, but not styled. I put on a little makeup to disguise the hours of sleep I missed out on this weekend, and that was it. I’m drinking water, I’m applying my Lip Smackers, and that’s it. That’s my beauty secrets for today.
I have other ones too, and in the interest of them not being beauty secrets, I’ll put them all out there. I clean up my eyebrows every few days with the tweezers. I moisturize morning and night. I almost never wear face makeup. I moisturize my hands like crazy. I wear bronzer by my hairline, beside my eyes and the tip of my nose. I use cream blush, not powder. I always wear eyeliner. I brush my lips with my toothbrush and then put on Vaseline. I shave just about every other day, and I put cream on my arms and legs after every shower. There, that’s it!
I’ve always been perturbed as to why women call them secrets. Is it because when you find something that works wonders, you keep it to yourself in case other women find out and then work that tip “better” than you? Is it because you want to horde secrets, thereby elevating your own ability to condescend others when they don’t know what you do? Are you really trying to be the “most” beautiful by keeping secrets to yourself? Is it a marketing ploy Cosmo puts on its cover to get you to read the secrets inside?
Today I am challenging women to share their beauty secrets. Shed your apprehension about being out-eyelinered by another femme who could benefit from your tip. Don’t hide your beauty secrets with you in the closed-door bathroom the next time you partake in your own secret ritual. Share the cult!
And while I’m on the subject, may I just say this: Those women you see who appear to be so naturally beautiful they don’t even need makeup—I am jealous. I wish, wish, wish I could wakeup and hop on the bus with beautiful undereye bags and splotchy redness around my nose. But, alas, I cannot. And so today I also celebrate makeup. Unless you are of the more penile-equipped sex and are also in a mod band, you cannot socially acceptably enjoy the fruits of the makeup loom. Ladies, celebrate your eye shadow colour palette! Revel in your lip stain! Because they make us look so good, it’s almost a sin.