Before yesterday, I looked forward to my next and final round of driver examinations. See, in Ontario, you are required to endure a five-year driver certification program. As my expiry nears, I have one final exam, one additional excuse for the government to take my hard-earned dollars and in exchange give me transportation privileges. Before yesterday, my future exam date seemed like a far away day planner item that would come and go. But then there was yesterday.
I was driving my little sister back to our mum's after buying some supplies for her birthday party next weekend. I crashed my dad's Jeep. It was completely me fault, which is a bit positive since I don't need to waste any energy lamenting the unjustness of it all. No, I rear-ended someone, totally my bad. It took the police THREE AND A HALF hours to show to do a police report (which took another hour and half). While I did improve my tan, I also became famished and tested the limits of my bladder to a new extreme. I felt and still feel bad because I will hurt my dad's driving insurance and because I also have been charged with a driving infraction. But now, my final license exam may be in jeopardy, I've learned.
I spent most of my waiting time yesterday trying to zen myself, reminding my inner monologue that what's done is done, let's just handle this the Buddhist way or something. I will make my amends to my dad as best as my bank and tuition fees allow, of course, but I still feel bad. Carpe diem can be hard when you crash your parents' car. I am having trouble leaving that in the yesterday (especially since today's father's day celebrations are marred by my dad's frustrations over the crumpled front end of his beloved Jeep TJ). We've had to make rearrangements for the organization of this afternoon's dad's day barbecue without use of a car, so it looks like I'll be doing a lot of walking to and from the nearest grocery store. Man, my tan's gonna be fantastic. I have told my dad I'm sorry and told him how I bad I feel about it all. I don't want to feel guilty all day because that won't make things better, right? So, I guess it's onwards and upwards, now via public transportation.