Yesterday, fiancé received some info that is fabulous news for his career and future. It means moving up significantly, entering into a system of retirement savings plans and salaries, not wages. It is everything he has been working so hard for, including 12-hour shifts followed by six hours of sleep before beginning the next. He is perfect for this job. I’ve really enjoyed getting to see the side of him that prospective employers get to see: Him on paper, him in a suit at an interview, him providing answers that make interviewers nearly wet their pants in glee. In the same way a mother will always tell her son he is special, I have always had his back and believed he could do it. Now, it is nice to feel validated that the rest of the world agrees with me and sees in him the qualities that will make an excellent ___ (insert job title here). For him, it means that someone (other than his girl) recognizes what he’s always been hesitant to tell himself when he looks in the mirror, thinking maybe he’d better not call himself great, maybe it’ll end up being un-true. I’m so proud of him in every sense that the word encompasses.
So it makes it really hard for me to come to terms with the drawbacks. After moving in together just over a month ago, we may have to think about being apart for a really long time. If all goes the way it is supposed to in terms of career plans, he will be gone for six months, away from hugs and kisses, casual phone calls and little notes left in pockets. Then, after a brief reprisal of time with his bride-to-be, he will off to goodness knows where until I can join him at school year’s end. I am jumping the gun with some of these assumptions, but that is the way this is shaping up to look. Which means I am faced with a situation where the loving fiancée and devoted life partner is so happy to see her man’s dreams come true and fall together nicely, the empty partner half will be quite lonesome in our shared habitat for her better half for a very long time. It will mean making wedding plans sans groom, telling secrets to journal pages without the male perspective in return, and cooking meals for one again. You can see the dilemma.
I’m sure I’ll find ways to carpe diem and fill every last lonely minute with girlfriend gelato outings and writing, schoolwork, wedding plans, concerts and ceaseless apartment cleanings. Worse comes to worse and I know I can rely on modern programming to flow through my television screen. But, before I get ahead of myself, CONGRATS BABE!!!!